DATING & RELATIONSHIPS - Written by Niharika
What usually runs through a girl's mind when she thinks of a perfect man for herself can be a whole lot of things; Good looks, compatibility, personality, sense of humour, good job, shiny cars etc - this might differ for each lady though, I can go on and on but let me begin by asking a simple question: Would you be willing to settle for someone who's got none of what I just mentioned, but you'd still find him the most breath taking man on the face of the earth if it's God leading you to him?
Well, I am in no way saying that God will lead you to empty pockets only or someone absolutely opposite to what you've dreamt of, but the point I'm trying to make here is how much are you willing to settle for God's choice than your own?
After I got saved God, revealed to me how important this area is. I needed to commit myself to honouring God through my dating relationship. Kyle and I prefer calling it "courtship" rather than "dating" - I don't mean "courtship" is some magical word in itself but it defines the principles that we follow. The worldly phenomenon of dating involves the sole purpose of 'recreation'. I usually call it the 'TB syndrome,' Testing Out and Bailing Out syndrome. Participating in serious relationships just for the fleeting pleasures, almost similar to a test drive and then bailing out as soon you've had enough, or pursuing someone romantically without the intentions of marrying one another.
A wrong relationship can cheat 5 people:
1. God
2. Yourself
3. The person you are with
4. Your future spouse whom God would have reserved for you
5. The future spouse of the person you are with
Courtship on the other hand is a relationship with the purpose of marriage. In addition to that we ought to do it in a Godly fashion because the ultimate aim is to please God through it.
To those who are single and praying for a partner, do not give up on it. Once you submit everything to God, the good work begins, so this is just the period of preparation. God is preparing you for your future spouse.
To those who are in a relationship with a person who doesn't share your faith, to them I would simply say that being with a man who doesn't follow Jesus is dangerous. 2 Corinthians 6:14 - "Be you not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion has light with darkness?" I would also advise you to read "Breaking Up: He's Just Not That into God" by Stina Wilson.
To those who are in a relationship and are truly committed to honouring God through it must know that a Godly relationship is radically committed to purity. Physical intimacy is a pure joy and a blessing of marriage and commitment. Consider a woman who has had 4 serious relationships in her life before she got married, and even if there is no physical intimacy connected to it, there is still an emotional clinging and it's no surprise that this woman will take all those 4 men with her to her wedding night because of the romantic nature of these relationships.
It's interesting, God's Word doesn't ask us to fight youthful lust but to absolutely flee from it, simply because we can't conquer it on our own. It's always wiser to keep away from the predicaments than to fight it and fail.
You can see what dating does... It drains the future of marriage's blessings. Sex is not bad because our bodies are naturally designed to desire it, but when we go out doing it out of His appointed time, we can flip this blessing into a curse.
A Godly relationship is all about honoring God through it and desiring His perfect will in the life of your partner. Avoid putting yourself in situations where you'd be tempted to do things you'd later regret and it's not just about "no-sex-before-marriage" because Godly a relationship goes above and beyond that.
We are called to be submissive to God's appointed authority. Do not look to 'outperform' each other in things like income, talents or skills but try to 'outperform' each other in serving one another. Ladies, respect your man and let him take the lead because it's not just some patriarchal system that puts them over you but it's God's authority, and if you think that defies the law of equality then you are questioning the concept of trinity itself.
Aim to grow each other daily and help to stir Godly passions in each other. Friendship before marriage is essential as this friendship builds greater respect and understanding in the relationship. I would also advise you to seek the counselling of Godly people in your life who can lead you well, it could be your spiritual mentors, pastors, elders or your parents.
I would encourage you to live your relationship in a Godly manner and to reap the fruits His promise... AT ITS BEST!!!
Be blessed
